Heavenly Father is very aware of us...each and every one.

"We need to get our temple recommends renewed, yesterday... I need to be more diligent in pondering my scriptures... The house is a mess but, I need to focus more on the kids... Can't we just being time for church, just once?..." The list goes on.

Thoughts like this have gone through my head for the past little while now. I'm not exactly sure when I started thinking like this, I haven't always. But this negativity has been creaping up on me oh so silently and has caught me off guard. This morning, I was so focused on making sure that we had a happy morning, that my kids were happy, that we were ready at a decent time. I wanted Ky to have a good morning because he's been getting upset so easily lately. Today he was my main focus. So I told my little dude, " Alright Ky, do you trust me?" He looked at me all confused and says, "what?" I told him, "Do you trust me? I want to know if you trust me". Still confused, he says " yes.." I said, "okay, then today I want you and I to count how many smiles you can put on your face. Our prophet Gordon B Hinkley says that if we can put a smile on our face every day, then it'll make our day that much brighter." He didn't want to at first but I asked him "what could it hurt. It definitely won't make your day worse, right?" So I started being goofy while he was brushing his teeth, then bug did something goofy that made him laugh and with each smile he did I said "There's one smile!! There's another! Is that 5 smiles already?!" Which in turn made him smile more. Then in the car on the way to church, Sky said, " mommy needs to start counting her smiles" half way joking, but mostly serious. I just grunted at him. Then it hit me... I've been kind of a Debby downer lately too. I've been focusing so negatively on things lately. It was while I was in the bishops office today while getting my recommend signed, that my heart became very humbled. He said something so simply, but the power of his simple statement made such a profound impact on my heart. He said this, "I told Skyler the same thing, but I just have to tell you guys I'm so impressed with you guys. You guys are here every week, not just to show up, but to actually be here. Your diligent in your classes. During sacrament meeting today, as you guys walked in, these thoughts came to me. You're a great family. I just needed to tell you guy this". You know that lump in your throat you get when you are so over wealmed with happiness, you could just cry? Yeah, that was me. I didnt cry, but I sure felt like doing so. What he said was so simple but its exactly what I needed to hear. Its like while Bishop Brown was speaking to me, Heavenly Father was speaking to my heart. We try so hard to be diligent in what we do that's good as a family. We try to make it to church every Sunday. We try to listen to our prophet. We try to be kind. We try. That's just it, we try. That's exactly what our Father in Heaven wants us to do. Right now, each one of us are on different paths in our lives, but if we try our best to do our best, even if its difficult at the time, Heavenly Father is rejoicing. He is so happy when we try our best, even when we feel like life sucks and we aren't getting anywhere with how hard we try. He is very aware of us...each and every one. My heart is very different from where it was this morning. I've lost count of my smiles, and so has Ky. I'm not saying that Im am jumping around with Joy like a crazy person. I'm saying that I am more humbler than I was this morning with a happier look on my face, and a huge smile on my heart. Oh! And teaching in the nursery has been such a huge blessing. I LOVE...absolutely LOVE teaching nursery and I love the amazing woman I teach with. I miss my other wards, and I had my presumptions about coming into this one, but those presumptuous feelings are long gone. My love for this ward has grown so imensly over the last 9 months. Crazy! 9 months already since we moved. Heavenly Father knows us and is very aware, I know this to be true.