Step back and simplify

There are times in our lives that tend to throw us back...that challenge us to no end. It seems to be a repetitive thing. Life keeps throwing those curve balls and we can either try and learn how to swing to hit that ball out of the park or we can strike out and give up. It's up to us.

This last week was a bit rough. I was lacking sleep, having nightmares, so in turn I was having anxiety and started getting edgy. As the days went on, it seemed to be getting worse.  Everything else that followed just wore me out. This right here was a sign that I needed to do something. To slow down for a bit and simplify my time and my thoughts. Simplify the things that I did both at work and at home. Our daily schedules that still went on, still filled my time. But when I get like this, and feel all of this anxiety come on and start to get this ball that sits in my chest, I have had to learn what works best for me to help me get back to where I want to be mentally. I've tried many different things that could help when I get this way. Running was my best out let...but to be honest, nothing works better than for me than to take a step back. I have to simplify. Simplify my thoughts. My actions. My daily routines when it doesn't involve work or activities my kids are in. Everything inside of my head starts to fall into place when I start to simplify. I'm able to think and refect on the things and the people that are most important to me.

I've dealt with anxiety my entire life. Loosing Kynzie made that a million times worse. But before her, I had never really tried to deal with it except for breathing through it. Loosing her has forced me to learn how to deal with my emotions and my anxieties. To really learn how to get my mind where I want it to be when it starts to spiral down into this anxious pit. I've had to learn how to be happy when everything around me just kind of sucks for the moment. I am by far perfect, but I do try. I am not one to just let the bad things in life take over. Whether it's with in me or it's around me. I am one to fight through it and learn how to make it through...to find a way to make it work, to make things better.
                                           Here's why ⤵️

(This picture is a simple snap I sent Skyler yesterday on our way to moos soccer game...but it holds so much fun and imagination...especially from my boys ❤️)

These kids are my absolute everything. I want them to know that it's okay for things and feelings to not be okay. I want them to be able to fight for the happiness they want and be able to find it with in themselves. I want nothing but the best for my kids...I want nothing but the best for my husband. I want those I hold close to my heart to be able find their happiness when life just isn't the greatest. 

Today, my "simple' was to visit Kynzies grave with buggy before he went to school and before I went to work. It was exactly what I needed. And apparently buggy needed it as well. We both walked around and visited other gravesites for 30 minutes and we both left feeling peaceful and happy. 

Days are going to be hard...for everyone. Life isn't going to be easy or feel easy. I know that. I'm so far from perfect, but I've had to learn to just take it step by step, day by day, hour by hour if need be, to find out what works best for me to find my happiness with in myself. To find my own peace.