What do you meme?
Quite fitting if I do say so
Today was another busy day. Vegas for vehicle repair and Mesquite for softball. We all just got home maybe an hour ago and I can't sleep. George has been asleep for a few hours and I can't get my brain to be okay with going to sleep. I love to write. I love to blog. So here I am. I'm just rambling. Hopefully I make sense. Continue if you dare.
This last pregnancy was very different for me in many ways. I only gained 15lbs. Which for me is little compaired to all of my other pregnancies of which I gained close to 35lbs. I wasn't over weight when I got pregnant with George. I started of healthy and fairly fit too. I was going to the gym a few times a week and running 3-5 miles every other day. I ate healthy. Very little refined sugars, very little dairy, and no wheat (all because of gut issues I had a few years prior, so I just kept it up). I was very emotional this time around and extremely exausted most of my pregnancy. I worked a full time job and was manager partially through. As much as I loved being pregnant, this one was one of my hardest ones...for me.
Fast forward to now. It's been 3 months since I had my little George and He couldn't be a more happier baby!! He brings such a light into our house and to anyone whos around him really. And he is so very loved!
I had lost almost all of my baby weight in the first 3 weeks of having him! I was so excited! I didn't feel as tired as I was when I was pregnant and I felt great!
About 6 weeks into having him, the tiredness set in and I was loosing energy and the baby blues were hitting me more than they were the first few weeks. I wasn't (and still am not) sleeping through out the whole night. Usually because George wont let me... but when he does sleep a long time, I can't sleep. I can't because of fears that I'm working on letting go. It's a tough one to overcome every baby I've had after loosing Kynzie. I don't actually over come it. My babies just get bigger and I just deal with it for a year or so. I'm aiming for that balance of sleep though. I desperately need more solid sleep with out the fear of George not waking up. I'm trying to eat healthy and not over eat but everytime I would back off, my milk supply would go down. And guess what?? I eat when I'm tired and can't go to sleep (except for now...I'm writting). It's very frustrating becuase I went from being 5lbs away from my pre pregancy weight (even though I know I have more fat now that I had before I got pregnant...and less muscle now than before) to being 10lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight. Eating keeps me awake and then if I keep it up, it becomes a habit that is hard to break for me. Food is one of my greatest strengths in my mental health...but can also be one of my biggest weaknesses too.
My goals to find energy, confidence, and mental stability again:
-Get going on Macros again. Plan snacks for when I am tired and can't nap.
-Find time to do some meditation every morning. Seriously, clearing all thoughts can be so cleansing!
-Workout routine...also very good for my thoughts...and my sleeping habits.
-Find social time with friends. I become so consumed in the daily grind. I need a little adault human interaction. That is the one thing I miss about working. I didn't even have to try to be social. It just happened haha.
-Take a nap a few times a week! Even if it's just 20 minutes. I'm not in my 20s anymore and I have my own little army now that take a lot from me. ALOT!
I will find my balance again. I will eventually get more sleep. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Having babies is never easy. But oh my gosh are they so very worth every emotional rollercoaster we ever go on.
My rambling is over for now and has made me tired enough to sleep....and probably who ever reads this as well haha.
Good night.
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